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eCommerce Writer

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Our client's writing team, the people who made ecommerce funny, tedious, heartbreaking, clever, and/or annoying seeks a workaholic writer with experience in being hilarious for money. Maybe your copywriting for clients has been funny, or maybe you've balanced straight corporate work with humor blogging, comedy screenwriting, or some other form of chuckle-oriented writing. If you have at least 3-5 years of getting paid to write, and can show us pieces that make us so jealous of your comedic talent we'll want to punch you in the throat- well, you're probably too good for this job. But we'll take you anyway.

In this job, you'll learn: that Kerouac didn't know a damn thing about endurance typing. Three hundred or so pages in three weeks? We call that A SLOW MONDAY MORNING!
Intangible benefits: you'll get to hear all the jokes we CAN'T share publicly. Yeah. Raw and uncensored.
Potential hazards: only if you ask "Would you guys rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?"
If our Client were a superhero team, you'd be: the one who somehow makes four wisecracks in a single fight panel.
Worst part of the job: Oh, you'll find out. You'll find out. Ahahaha! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Make sure you bring: a picture of Mortimer. Not Monte. We know how to tell the difference. Do you? You'd better, or this whole thing is over before it even begins.


Responsibilities:
· Write long-form sales-copy pieces (200-800 words) and short short sales-copy "snippets" (tweet length) with a high degree of conceptual creativity and verbal polish
· Contribute regularly to the blog and social media channels, including initiating and executing your own story ideas
· Communicate professionally and effectively with staff from other departments to get projects done
· Contribute regularly to video projects (willingness to make a fool of yourself on camera is a plus)
· Provide collateral copywriting as needed, while maintaining the company's voice and creative standards
· Brainstorm ideas for other creative projects, and our overall creative direction
· Stay aware of (and responsive to) what our users are discussing on our site
· Occasionally travel
· Occasionally work nights as workload requires


Basic Qualifications
· Either 3-5 years of marketing/advertising copywriting experience, or a record of published and/or performed pieces written for audiences (journalism, fiction, screenplays, blogging, etc.)
· Application must include a portfolio of links to writing samples that demonstrate your experience, verbal facility, and, above all, sense of humor
· An aptitude for finding something interesting about even the most boring products
· Ability to produce ridiculous amounts of copy on ludicrously tight deadlines
· Familiarity with a wide range of high and low cultural references (and not just the geeky stuff, we've got that pretty well covered now)
· Familiarity with Web usage and culture
· Lack of ego when it comes to an editor disfiguring your masterpieces


Preferred Qualifications
· 3-5 years of marketing/advertising copywriting experience, plus a record of published and/or performed pieces written for audiences (journalism, fiction, screenplays, blogging, etc.)
· A diverse portfolio of writing samples that demonstrate your experience, verbal facility, and, above all, sense of humor

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